YELLOW OREO

Growing up as an Asian-American, I have always been fascinated by the diversity of cultures in America. However, the struggles that Asian-Americans face are rarely discussed. Although I was born and raised in America, I have not always felt “American.”

I remember my first day of pre-school. The children around me all had lighter skin and larger eyes than me. Throughout elementary and middle school, I was mocked for having small eyes or referred to as “chinky” or “China-girl.” Though American children are taught to have tremendous pride in the great land of America and embrace American ideals of equality and liberty, I find it interesting that American children continue to stereotype and even mock people that look different than themselves.

At school, I often did not feel “American” enough because my skin was “yellow” and some of my actions/tendencies were different. For instance, In my traditionally Asian household, my parents always emphasized cleanliness and rules. In pre-school, I was once rebuked by my teacher for not willing to touch the papier-mâché newspapers because they were too dirty. My teacher subsequently decided to toss a handful of sand at me to toss away my germaphobic tendencies. Spoiler: she wasn’t immediately successful.

At home, I often did not feel “Chinese” enough and my parents jokingly laugh at my “Chinglish” (a mixture of Chinese and English). Sometimes, I was rebuked for not following a certain rule or not working as hard as as an Asian person should. My parents would frequently lecture about how hard they toiled in their school days and how easy I have it in America. These are the reasons why I could refer to myself as a Yellow (Golden) Oreo; although I am yellow (physically appear Asian) on the outside, I am considered white on the inside by my parents and relatives because they often believe that I act and speak like an “American.” Throughout my life, I have always been trying to act either “American” (at school or when I am around my friends) -- for instance, by dressing or speaking a certain way -- or “Chinese” (at home and around relatives) by demonstrating discipline, dedicating much time and effort to my academic studies, and following certain rules. Now, I think I am probably more similar to a blended Oreo McFlurry, (except with Golden Oreo) with my traditional Asian heritage blended into my American upbringing to create a beautiful, cultured, and unique concoction.